28 - se fine

Alright, lets take a short break to see where Sunday night puts us before i put myself in bed to rest up for work in the morning...

Sadness first, i suppose. Bears lost today. Game was winnable, but, they just couldn't close it out, so thats officially the end of the Bears football season, and frankly, its been the best Bears season i've had to date. Record was so so and the play of wasn't that great... but... its been the most enjoyable one i've followed yet, because i've had an almost ever-present companion and fellow watcher/fan in Jaden. Sure she's not a devout, not hardcore like me... she probably doesn't even know who bronco nagursky, or the galloping ghost, or the kansas comet are... but... She was a fan. She accepted my bears worshiping, embraced it, encouraged it, and partook in it. More than i could have ever asked of anyone. I shudder, to think, what next seasons going to end up like. If she ends up out in California... or anywhere else for that matter, whats a Bears season wo her going to be like? And i know i've had all of them leading up to this one wo her... but, now that i know what its like? Now that i know what its like to have a gf that supports it? To have someone i love and care about and have fun with here to help me root them on? Whats a season wo that going to feel like?

I don't want to know.

Finished MassEffect, today... Was a very enjoyable game. I'm very hopeful that the plan to make it a trilogy comes through as a success. Not sure yet if i'm going to buy it and re-play... But, we'll see when the time comes... It certainly wasn't KOTOR, but, not much is. And the sex scene that everyone was making such a hub-bub about... was quite the let down. PG13 at the most, especially by todays standards... enough to sho that there were two ppl naked, but nothing more... an ass cheek, almost side boob... def not what the hype made it out to seem like.

This presents a delima, however, because i've still got the better part of a week to exist now before Jaden comes home... and i've now rendered my biggest distraction obsolete... Well, suppose that means i'll have to hook up rock band and work on mastering that, for the remander of the time, yeah?


Wrote to Desi last night. Seeing as how its emensley difficult to have a phone conversation w her, and the texts are sporadic at best. Had some stuff i needed to get out of my mind and off of my chest. Haven't heard from her yet today... Though, i've no idea how regularly she checks email/facebook, and its not uncommon for my texts to her to go unreplied... Probably give her a ring before bed, just cause, and just in case...

Called Jaden tonight, already... Wasn't expecting her to answer, and she didn't. Whether the phone was on silent, or not with her at all, or whether she just chose not to answer it isn't important. Really all it came down to was that I wanted to hear someone elses voice, other than my own echoing in my head. So the voice mail message telling me she couldn't answer the phone was more than sufficient. I'm not sure what i would have said to her, had she answered, anyway... I can only assume her visit is going well, since i've not heard anything to the contrary of that yet.

And good for her, yeah? If its what she wants, and what is going to make her happy, then good for her. At least one of us should be. Everyone keeps telling me that its wrong. That i shouldn't be ok with it. That she's having her cake and eating it to... all of that nonsense. And, sometimes, i'm inclined to agree with them, but other times, not so much. And in the end, Its on me, anyway... I make the decision to keep her in my life, and therefore i accept the consequences of that action. Fair and simple, its that clear cut. I had the choice, and if it was something i felt needed to have been done, i could have decided that i didn't want to see or talk to her again, and i could have sent her on her way. that wasn't a decision i wanted to choose, and therefore i didnt'.

I'm ranting now, but, back to the point, if shes happy, i'm happy for her. I wish it wasn't this way, and i wish that she'd have been able to be happy with me, but, thats not the case.

Other news? Well, there really isnt' much other news. I'm here, alone, and thats not going to change for several days, and its something that, quite frankly, is quite a bit dreary and upsetting.

Such is life, though and i'll deal with it accordingly.

Think i should head to bed now, try to get some decent rest before tackling the work day tomorrow.

So, take care, y'all.