29 - Inky

Todays tat touchup day.

hooray.

Its a good thing. I'm very much tired of walking around with half a tattoo.

Today was just another thursday... For awhile.

Then i went to lunch. Then I got a phone call.

Desi. Desi called me. Heh, I wasn't expecting to hear from her... for a very long time. It was great to hear her voice again. She has the day off, and the house to herself. Stars aligned and the stage was set to actually have that talk i'd attempted a few weeks back.

Definately unexpected, definately confusing, and definately unlucky.

The only day in the whole month, practically, that i have .anything. going on that i can't blow off, and it would have to be today. This appt has been rescheduled 5 times over, over a span of 3 or 4 months, due to some complication or antoehr with the artist... And its bound to take too long for me to make the drive up there afterwards... And she probably has to work tomorrow so asking her to drive down heres out of the question...

But... when i offered a telephone call later tonight, she pretty much said no, don't bother... And... I don't get it... I know i'd much rather have the conversation face to face, as well... but not given the option, i'd rather make sure the conversation was had, than not at all.

But, given that, even... What conversation, is it? She reffered to it as 'that talk'. Kind of vague, given the circumstances. Which talk is it she wants to have? Is there still a hope for our friendship to survive this turmoil, or is this a need for more closure on her end, does she want to keep me in her life in some way shape or form, or is she deciding shes better off without me around?

Should i continue to hold my toungue and keep the silence? Or does this phone call mean its ok for me to attempt to talk w her some more? Does she still expect/want/need me to stay away and give her her space?

Too many questions, too many thoughts, and no answers to be found.

What I need to do is take a deep breath, calm down, and keep going about my day.

Got plenty of needle time tonight, i can continue to think about things then...

Maybe she'll have somethign to say about the text i sent her saying my weekends free... Maybe she won't. We'll have to wait and see.

heh. Dunno that i could have afforded to actually drive up there and back today, anyway, honestly. Tanks almost dry and i don't know that i've got much left in the stockpile at home to fill it back up. But i would have tried. For her, and for the talk, i would have tried and i would have found a way. You can be sure of that.

Now, though, back to work... back to the mail... And back to being alone.