I close my eyes and all I see are memories of a time thats passed me by.
How do I feel normal, How do I feel whole, How do I feel... at all... After this?
I still don't know how I managed to sit there, and say the things I did. How did I? How did i find the strength to sit there and convince you that you should go ahead and marry him if u should so choose to?
But i did, didn't I?
Yes. Yes I did. I sat there, and held you as the tears flowed forth, and still couldn't find it in myself to play a single selfish card in my favor, couldn't find it in myself to interject or dissaprove or dissuade in the least.
And you tell me i'm amazing.
Well, maybe I am. But i guess that means amazing isn't good enough, and i guess it means it never has been, either.
You told me once, that ginger was crazy, to have turned away from me, to have let me go. As you held my hand on a sandy riverbed. That day echoes often inside of my head... and I wonder what happened, what went wrong, and whether or not you've gone crazy, too?
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