03 - And the beat goes on

So, suppose today is Saturday, huh?

Can't remember where i was when i finished yesterdays blog, so if i repeat some stuff, i'm sorry.

Got a text from Jaden right before the end of work, letting me know she was going to be leaving for the QC after she got done with work, and was going to try and get home early to talk...

Well, she did. We talked. Idk. Some idle catch-up of the week, not a whole lot of play by play, which is fine, not my business or worry, anyway, i suppose. As it turned out, Ace called her up or texted her or something during the day, and as far as I can tell just wanted one extra day before he left...

*shrugs*

I told her how i felt, was a lil upset, lil hurt, lil dissapointed, but in the end, after a discussion with Nut-Meg the other day, i realized that Jaden has her own life, i've got my own, and its just the way it is. I've got to live my life for me and plan my life around me, not around her and me, and i can't keep looking at it like she's letting me down when these thigns come up, and maybe if i start looking at it that way, i'll stop doing things out of my own way to not let her down, as well.

Found out after I got off the phone with Desi and got my text messages, that Jaden called into work this morning and stayed int he QC instead of coming home in the morning like the plan was... well, maybe she was sick again, maybe it was for Ace... *shrugs* either way its of no conscequence to me.

Hopefully her works still cool with it andall... she's taken quite a few early days/days off lately... Theyve got enough people in parts that its probably not a problem, though... heres to hoping thats the case, yeah?

Last night... played a bunch of rockband until i got stuck on a song, had to stop, watched some comedy central, then headed to bed... slept way in this morning... didn't get up until after 11. Had myself some oatmeal, watched a few more episodes of Top gear, felt a lil cabin fever coming on, but nothing too traumatic... not enough to convince me to brave the cold and leave the house, at any rate.

Desi called, bless her soul. Knocked a painless smile accross my face. She was headed to her dads for what sounds like an awesome saturday of gaming and food deliciousness. Light-hearted conversation blended seamlessly with the more mattersome and hard hitting topics, as it invariably always does... like a piece of flowing artwork, ever changing and evolving, taking cues from the past, but drawing upon hope for the future. The way its always been, seemingly the way it always will be.

Maybe she'll call later, maybe she won't. Sometimes she just gets busy I think... She's got her own life too, just like i've recently understood Jaden does. So, I've got to be a little bit more understanding of that for the future. Just because i don't have a whole lot of other friends or things to do/ppl to talk to, doesn't mean the rest of the world is that way too. And its something i'll have to get better at too, being busier, having more going on in my life than just one person, just one thing. And that should help, yeah? i think it should. Won't do ne good at all to be putting any undue pressure on Desi, just cause i don't have nethign else going on in my life at the moment.

feel like i'm kinda rambling now though... and this movie isn't helping...

I know who killed me...

Lyndsey Lohan in a gorey mystery/thriller... seen it once or twice now but its like one of those train wrecks that you can't really look away from. all bloody and body parts rotting and decay and bad acting and partial nudity... the whole wham bang of holiwood today.

Well, i feel like i had something else here to say or do... but its not really coming out right about now... Sure wish I knew how today was going to end up... text i got from Jaden was a few hours ago, and she said she was saying goodbyes then... *small shrug* i'm not a fan of the unexpected... suprises and all... not my thing. well, certain suprises are welcom and quite exciting... Just not this kind...