18 - Another Brick In The Wall

Well hey there!

Its... Tuesday! Hoorah!

Heh, not so much, nothing fun about a tuesday, not really.

Lets see here... Last night was finnally Manwich Night!!! And Heroes night!!! It was delightful. Little on the uneventful side, as far as average nights go... Maybe it was the heavy Sunday that overshadowed it, I'm not all that sure... I came home and made sure i got the dishes done so Jaden wouldn't have to do them... Then started supper... We got the laundry put away together... did dinner, watched heroes, I gave her that back rub i still owed her, and I was tired. Early bed time for sure... Don't think she was thrilled about it, but, I did need the sleep...

Tuesday... TuesdAAAAAAAAY. Thats my WALL•E impression... for those of you who are not privvy to the awesomeness that is WALL•EEEEEEEEEEEEE. And it comes out today. So Excited So Excited!! Jaden has a half day today, and I do believe she intends to pick it up before or after her stop to the surplus store. WALL•E and Ribs tonight... I think she's saving the holiday flavored wine for later on in the winter yet so I feel like it might be a Sutterhome night tonight...

What else... What else... Ugh. Bad night for dreaming last night... Don't really feel like getting into that, but suffice to say I woke up with shivers, and am still asking WTF periodically when my memory brushes up against it.

Trying to stay away from the final topic of the blog until... well, until the end since its the final topic, duh. Just not the happiest of topics and even so I'm in a fairly decent mood, so, go figure right?

hmmm... what else... Nutmeg doesn't seem to be keeping up with her blog now that the Lich King expansions out for that silly game called WOW. *shakes finger increduously*

Something else is supposed to be happening this week... why can't I remember it?

oh!

Thats it!

Measuring... We've got to measure the door to the apartment, pronto, if Jaden wants to pull out my furniture from storage, and I am a little concerned about them not seeming to realize that they have my desk/bookshelf there too... Because they had it the last time I was in there and if somehow they misplaced it, well, I'll be slightly concerned about something like that.

But, if all goes well and the door is wide enough for the furniture... our living rooms about to get a rehaul of epic proportions...

I think thats it... I still want to get in to see the new Bond movie sometime soon, certainly before Jaden leaves to go on holiday.

Have my 'hazardous package handling' class this saturday, that should be fun... a few of the guys on the class list are decent aquaintances of mine so i feel like we'll at least have a good time. Plus its overtime, who doesn't like that?

Made some plans for the weekend after Jaden gets back from holiday, banking on the hope that nothing drastic occurs during that week, and i'm more confident than not that nothing tragic will be happening... So, excited for that too! but i'll have to keep it a secret from her, want it to be a suprise.

what more what more? 20 minutes till the end of stamp hour... then its sorting out some of this mail... two more mail runs... do the paper order for tomorrow.... And I'll be out of here, racing home to start the wonderful evening of WALL•E.

Need gas in the car... then some heet... and time to put in the winter washer fluid... which means i need to drain out the stuff i've got in there right now cause its teh suxxor in the mornign and i'm too lazy to scrape.

*half sigh*

Well, Think i ran out of other stuff to type, so, onto the feature presentation, if you will...

heh... 18 Nov. 18 of any month, now, really... will be a marked day for me. It was 18 Dec 2007 when Jaden and I decided we had had enough of being better-than-friends and decided to make our union legit in the bf gf sense...

So, now, today, 18 Nov, would have stood as our 11 month mark, just one more to go before our first true anniversary. Ironically enough, this is also our one month mark of being broken up, since fate and circumstances landed the fateful night upon which she decided enough was enough, just so happened to be 17 Oct, and we made it into the wee hours of 18 Oct before that conversation came to a close.

There are still times where i am forced to pause and scratch my head... attempting to understand how my most intense, closest, most natural and intermeshed relationship i've ever had, could mark a benchmark of less than a year.

As of today, at this particular moment... I'm fairly at peace with the way things are. I fear thats mostly due to the lessened frequency of Ace conversations the past week has brought, more than anything else, but, i'll take it.

As far as the date, it will be one i won't forget, that much is assured.

*half smirk half sigh* I had so truely hoped for an anniversary with her. i wouldn't have held anything back. It would have been one of the most memorable nights of her life, and mine to, i'd think. And while that may sound like a negative thought, its not so much... mourned, surely... Because I so would have enjoyed making her smile shine and her eyes dance. But, a month passed from that heart wrenching discussion and fate changing night, I can atleast accept the reality that that anniversary won't be happening the way i imagined it anymore... And I can at least accept that reality on my feet, without feeling like a mack trucks using me as a brake pad.

In this life as it currently stands, living for the present is my only option. Its a foreign concept to me, being as nostalgic as i am, i value the past a might more than the next guy, and being born the dreamer that I was, i gaze and long for the future a might more as well. So, this concept of living for the here and now and thats it, well, its a little different for me.

Not different bad I think... just, different. But as i said, its my only option. The only way to stay happy, to stay sane, and to enjoy Jaden and the time that i can with her, while still enjoying life as well. The present is my time. And i'll do with it what i wish for now, until such a point that that becomes an issue.

Time to get back to work for now... Think i might have more to add in between this and my last run... but, we'll see. Thanks for tuning in!