[ ] - Time out?

Can I get a breather, Please?

Looking back on the last three years of my life, i've suddenly realized Fate has had me on the ropes for a very long, very painful time.

Ever since my mom filed for divorce and the police came to take dad away from the house, nothings gone right for me. Nothings ended well. Lost my dream car in order to help get dad back on his feet... Got Deployed... As my family slowly disintegrated, I didn't even realize my relationship with Ginger was doing the same thing. She gave me the boot as soon as I came home from the deployment, leaving me for someone else in our unit. Then fate tempts me with this vision of Jaden and this great friend that could become so much more... Somehow the stars seem to align and she and Ace part ways to give us our chance at giving things a solid go... But, true to form Fate steps back in 10 lovely months later, stripping her back from me and then summarily giving her back to Ace. And now... Now as i'm finally recovering from that blow and finally adjusting to having Jaden back in my life as a friend... Fates come and delivered one more sucker punch from somewhere behind me, and trying to take even that away from me.

She's out looking for apartments with her new rommmate... she calls her dixie duck... Because the house she and Dixie Duck live in now is occupied also by DD's controlling asshole of a man. And Dixie Duck wants out of the relationship and out of the house. And since finding out that Jaden and I broke up, DD's been working every possible angle to get Jaden to move out of our apt and move into the house in hopes of inproving things for her. Now DD wants to be out of the house by the end of the week. Wants to go out, find an apt and move in this week. Leaving that house and that man while he's off driving truck... Just like his past 3 women have done to him before her.

I spent weeks before Jaden left warning her about DD and the man, and the potentially dangerous situation that exists there and the danger she might be in if she got involved. Well, now i'm doubly worried. because now she is involved. And now she's planning on moving out of that house and heading to this new apt... Where the lord only knows if this mans gonna track down DD and who knows how he's going to handle her just up and leaving like this... I'm genuinely scared and worried about Jadens safety...

And just on cue, now this thing with Ace not wanting her to talk with me anymroe comes up.. So i'm on the verge of possibly losing communication with her, just as all of this is about to go down... And in less than 3 weeks, Ace is going to get his 'pre-deployment' leave, and she'll be dissapearing i'm sure for the duration of that. I haven't worked up the gusto to ask her yet but i certainly wouldn't put it past them to think that she's taken that time off of work completely so they can take care of their... 'marriage stuff' and who knows what else they could have planed for that time... Maybe that road trip that she and I had talked so fondly about taking, that i overheard her talking to him about a week or so ago.... idk...

*slow shake of my head*

I dunno. Guess this is just it, huh?

I mean... losing Jaden out of my life completely... Not alot left over roudn here anymore for me. Stuff with sis and mom are on the rocks and I'm really nto feeling much a part of the family anymore... Whats left to keep me around? Not much, honestly. I don't really have much else in the way of friends or support. Desi doesn't answer my messages, and I don't know when or if she'll be in contact with me... Nut-Meg treis to help out, but she has her own life to work at, not her responsibility to hold mine together too. Ginger's boyfriends to insecure about her past with me to let us talk (sound familiar?) All my old friends were Gingers friends... and they all seem to have moved on with her and casted me to the wayside.

*another head shake with a sigh*

I'm done with this for today. At least until tonight, for sure. Its time to finish out this wonderful monday of work and do my best to make it through until tomorrow.

Out.