05 - A Day With Two Hats

Heh, Today would have marked a 7th anniversary between myself and my first long-term relationship, and first and only ever fiance. Things didn't work out with her, though and we ended up breaking up while i was in college. After a few rough years we've reconciled and have at least rebuilt a friendship between each other. which is nice. She's married now and has a darling baby daughter. Its nice to see her happy.

Today also marks one year since my first blog entry carrying subject matter of Jaden and I, being together. Feb 05 of 2008 was when I finally got around to blogging about how much happier I was with life and how much of a better place i was in, now that I had Jaden in my life.

Now, one year later, I daresay i'm right back where I was when I started this blog. The exception being at least Jaden and I are still friends. And it would seem, that the streak continues, and yet again i'll be spending another Vday, and Bday, without a significant other, this time because i don't have one, but the last few years its been because of long distances...

yay.

I'm not doing well today. I have to admit. Yesterday evening consisted of 3 not the most fun conversations between Mom, Desi, and Jaden. Mom with the ussual gambit of 'get a career' 'get a nice girl' 'bad stuff about ginger' 'bad stuff about jaden' 'bad stuff about the gf before ginger' 'bad stuff abotu sis' 'bad stuff about dad' 'more misc bad stuff'... Desi being indifferent and supplying one word answers and just overall acting like she wants nothing to do with me... and Jaden, Jaden... feeling like crap because she read my blog and decided that she was being a crappy friend to me...

Top it all off with this messed up back i've been having, and the continuous downward slope that is the time coming closer and closer to Jaden and Ace getting married... mix in a bit of me not doing so well living on my own, and a bit of me feeling sorry for myself, and a bit of a case of what ifs and painful memories...

and stir it up and back it right and it turns in to one sad sort of cake. :(

More to come, I'm blanking out on the thought process right now.